Well Trubies, we’re back! I’m going to assume if you’re reading this, you’ve seen last night’s episode. If you haven’t, there are obvious spoilers below, so quit reading. I am also assuming that you’ve seen last season and no series recap is needed. Great! Here we go.
After last season’s climatic finish, we pick right up amidst our characters’ multiple messes. Eric and Bill are in super-speed clean-up mode and Sookie and Lafayette are grieving over Tara when Pam enters looking for Eric. In a moment of desperation, Sookie and Lafayette ask Pam to turn Tara in order to save her life. Reluctantly, after Sookie says she’ll “owe her,” Pam agrees. Bill, sensing Sookie’s trouble, runs out the door with Eric right behind only to be quickly captured by Authority police and silver-netted.
All this within two minutes of ultra-fast editing cuts, and somewhat challenging dialogue. It isn’t the best opening for a season, but hey, this is True Blood. Pretty much everyone agrees it isn’t a great show, but we continue to watch it regardless don’t we? There’s rarely been a better definition of a “guilty pleasure.”
We catch up with Jason who has the good Reverend Newlin at his doorstep. Rev. is now a vampire and promptly glamours Jason into letting him into the house. After releasing Jason, he tells him that he’s now an immortal gay vampire. An ultra-conservative turns out to be gay?! SHOCK! When Rev. Newlin vampire threatens Jason to love him, Jessica enters in full lingerie to save Jason and assure Newlin that Jason is hers. Jason revokes Newlin’s house privileges and he’s forced out. Jessica and Jason promptly have sex.
Next, Sam is cornered by a small pack of werewolves. They demand to know where their pack leader Marcus is and are about to attack when Sam turns into a bird and flies off. Sam arrives at Luna’s to warn her of what’s happened. The pack then shows up and takes Sam prisoner, promising to leave Luna and her daughter out of it.
Meanwhile, Pam proceeds with the turning of Tara. Cut to the back of a silver-lined truck, and we see that Bill and Eric are still prisoners. They hatch a scheme to escape and puncture the gas tank from the inside with an umbrella and then blow up the car, being thrown from the trunk in the process. As the driver attempts to kill them, his accomplice turns the page and kills him. Turns out it’s Nora. She promptly makes out with Eric. Eric then reveals it’s his sister. Vampire incest!
Back in Sookie’s blood soaked kitchen (there are only so many times you can clean a blood soaked kitchen, Sookie . . . consider moving to a new house), Sookie reveals a darker side to Lafayette when she explains she willingly killed Debbie after Debbie killed Tara. Sookie’s darker side is a new turn for the precious princess of Bon Temps.
Now that Eric and Bill have been freed thanks to Nora, they head off to a shipping yard to sleep. Eric reveals that Nora isn’t a true biological sibling, but really a vampire sibling created by Godric. So not technically incest, but still weird thanks to their banter.
The next morning, Sookie takes Lafayette to clean-up Jesus’s body. Magically, he and the chair he died on are gone and there’s no blood to be seen. Lafayette attempts to apologize and say goodbye for killing Jesus. It’s actually a very bad scene in every regard. Moving on.
I’m skipping the scene where Andy wakes up naked in bed with Holly and her kids come in. Nothing more need be said about it.
Terry and Arlene are having breakfast with Patrick when they discuss the mysterious fire that burned their home. Patrick gives Terry a shifty look but doesn’t hint at what’s behind this stare.
Back with Sookie and Lafayette, they finally clean-up. Sookie is remembering Tara, and Lafayette is in serious PTSD mode. He stares longingly at a razor while laying in a bath. Will he kill himself in this moment of sorrow?!?! No. Of course he won’t. While Lafayette is in the bath, Alcide arrives and talks with Sookie. He tells her that Russell is back and will likely come looking for her. Just as he asks her to come with, Lafayette runs down the stairs (clean face and head shaved!) to push him out of the house.
It’s now evening and back at the wolf pack, Sam is being tortured. A woman named Martha arrives and asks for Sam to show where Marcus is buried. She’ll continue to honor the promise to protect Luna if he does.
We’ve come this far in the episode and we haven’t had a sex scene yet—quite out of the ordinary for True Blood. Thankfully, that standard is held up as vampire siblings Eric and Nora go at it. The moment ends with a typical True Blood line—”we fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions.” This is certainly True Blood my friends! Alcide then calls Eric and tells him something. We then cut to an unknown man being dragged into a room, then blood splashing on the window while he screams. (I’m guessing that Russell is recharging and healing via many men’s necks and blood.)
In a scene that is totally out of character, Jessica is throwing a frat party. A bunch of under-agers are drinking while Jessica makes googly-eyes with one of the partiers. Jason then knocks on the door looking for some quality time, only to be visibly hurt when he sees she’s partying and she tells him that they are having nothing more than a good time. Jason decides to join the party and looks to be returning to his old ways.
At Merlotte’s, Patrick approaches Terry to talk about the fire and mentions that a few of their squad buddies from the Marine’s have also all died in a fire. He wants his help looking for the person responsible, but Terry tells him to leave. The fires are because of something “that happened in Iraq.” More to come this season I’m sure.
Back at the frat party, Jason and Jessica have a moment when playing Rock Band, only to be interrupted by the flirter from earlier. The flirter and Jessica then begin making out. Jason sees this and leaves with another girl there. Instead of doing the regular Jason thing, he actually decides to take her home. The blood! The sweet, love inducing V!
In our episode climax, Sam brings the pack to Marcus’s body, which Martha (who reveals she’s his mother) then begins to eat after shifting into a wolf. All this while Alcide arrives to declare he killed Marcus while others swear allegiance to their new pack leader.
Bill, Eric, and Nora meet a group of anti-Authority vampires at the docks. Bill and Eric receive their new identities when all of a sudden, the anti-authority are all killed with wooden bullets as the Authority soldiers show up to capture our three vampires.
Back at the bury ground for Pam and Tara, Sookie waits patiently. Pam then wakes up and Sookie digs to see if Tara is alive as a new vampire. Believing that the turn didn’t take, Sookie breaks down in tears. Lafayette arrives and also begins to cry then SURPRISE! Tara erupts from the ground and apparently attacks Sookie!
In a premiere that outside of the suggestion to turn Tara held really no surprises, it was actually one of the series’ worst episodes. Now, don’t think I’m going to abandon because of this! True Blood has steered us down the path of ridiculousness before, but has always had moments of redemption. With the promise that Russell will be returning, and the introduction of Christopher Meloni as the head of the Authority, this season has some good potential. Here’s hoping next week is the turnaround after establishing our beginning plot.