Mass Murdering Vampire Children: ‘Breaking Dawn: Part II’

Note: This article contains spoilers.  I have a love-hate relationship with The Twilight Saga. Aside from having horrible dialogue and egregiously melodramatic story lines, sometimes it’s just offensive if you’re remotely liberal, because Meyer’s conservative, Mormon ideology is potent. So why do I feel compelled to watch every Twilight movie? … Continue reading

Sometimes Feel I’m Holden Caulfield: ‘Ruby Sparks’ and People Who Want to Date Themselves

The film Ruby Sparks is largely about being a decent human being by recognizing and absconding latent narcissistic tendencies. Our protagonist Calvin Weir-Fields (played Paul Dano) is a talented twenty-six-year-old writer living off the success of his first novel. Since his first book, he has failed to write anything exemplary … Continue reading

Kristen Stewert: Katie Holmes 2.0

Lately, I’ve developed an inexplicable addiction to Dawson’s Creek. Like many people, the appearance of James Van Der Beek on the relatively new sitcom Don’t Trust the B— in Apt. 23 (of which, Van Der Beek—who plays himself—is the only worthwhile aspect) prompted me to ruminate about the old Dawson’s Creek star and kindled a … Continue reading

The End of the World: Understanding Lars von Trier’s ‘Melancholia’ through Louis C.K. and Camus

Absurdity and the Emptiness of Ritual  On her wedding night, the bride tells her husband that she needs a minute. She goes outside to the golf course. A young man follows her. She turns to face him, pushes him down, and sits on top of him. He tries to get … Continue reading

Rewind: ‘Arrested Development’ – ‘Charity Drive’

Season 1, Episode 6: “Charity Drive”–November 30, 2003 Episode Rewind: This is the one where… Lindsay joins a group of activists dedicated to preserving the wetlands and kills a frog immediately upon her arrival. Michael refuses to give GOB a free frozen banana, for which, his family criticizes him throughout … Continue reading

The Trouble with ‘Martha Marcy May Marlene’

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) chronicles a young woman’s escape from a cult and her subsequent difficult transition back into society. Every name in the title refers to the same young woman (played by Elizabeth Olsen), indicating the difficulty she has establishing her own identity; outside of the cult she’s … Continue reading

Rewind: ‘Arrested Development’ – ‘Key Decisions’

Episode Rewind: Season 1, Episode 4: “Key Decisions”—November 23, 2003 This is the one where… Michael sells the corporate jet. Because the buyer has no interest in it, and because the Bluth family needs a vehicle, Michael decides to make the jet’s stair car the family’s main source of transportation. … Continue reading

Rewind: ‘Arrested Development’ – ‘Bringing up Buster’

Episode Rewind: Season 1, Episode 3: “Bringing up Buster”—November 16, 2003 This is the one where… We first learn about George Sr.’s “Cornballer,” illegal everywhere, yet, still marketed successfully in Mexico. George Michael auditions for the school play, Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, in the hopes that he’ll be cast … Continue reading

‘Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax’: A Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need

The film adaptation of The Lorax came to theaters March 2, 2012, on what would have been the 108th birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss. The film’s release date seems fitting, a tribute to his memory because The Lorax is one of Suess’ most inspirational and important stories. … Continue reading

Rewind: ‘Arrested Development’ – ‘Top Banana’

Episode Rewind: Season 1, Episode 2: “Top Banana”—November 9, 2003 This is the one where George Sr. keeps saying, to Michael’s and our confusion, “There’s always money in the banana stand.” Throughout episode two, Michael tries to get a hold of the Bluth company’s flight records. However, his father George … Continue reading